Do You Still Have A Crier?

Aug 23, 2012 | August, Back To School, Fall, Management, September, Teacher Wisdom | 7 comments

Do you still have a crier in your classroom? Here are some tips to help you deal with it!

Do you still have a crier in your class?

Here are some ways to deal with it as a kindergarten teacher!

1.  Love, love, love!  Some kids just need love.  Make them feel special and wanted once they do get calmed down so the next day they have not anxiety over being at school.

2.  Some kids need time!  I had a little girl last year that if I demanded her to stop and come join us or stop crying, I would lose her for even more time.  So I allowed her the time to emote and just kept positive.  I would ask her every 10 minutes or so if she was ready to join us.  And never yelled or had a negative tone.

3.  Some kids do need to sternly be told to stop, but I feel that this is the select few!  If I do take this approach, it is only once and if it is not effective I don’t do it again!  Being too stern and bossy scares the other kids and so I try to avoid this!

4.  Offer your student a glass of water.  They almost will never take it, but offering someone something is very welcoming and powerful!  So I keep fun dixie cups above my sink and I use them only for special times or to calm a kid down.
5.  Ask your student to sit with you.  Allow them to hold your hand while you take attendance or sit by you at circle time or on the carpet (even if they have assigned seats.)  Some kids are just scared and need to know that you will be there for them.  Just ask them every short so often if they are ready to go back to their seats.  After a couple days of this, they won’t even need to be close I promise.

6.  I like to keep hair barrettes and cool bandaids for the kids in class.  If your crier is a girl, when they calm down, build the relationship by throwing a little barrette in her hair!  A 30 second investment will pay off.  Boy’s get a cool bandaid even if they don’t need it!  I am a firm believer in using my role as a teacher to nurture relationships!

7.  NEVER get in a tug and pull type interaction with kids (and I mean physically and verbally.)  Immediate response is always fight or flight and that is what they are doing.  Allow them space and time to calm down and make the transition easier.  If a parent needs to stay because  a child is kicking or screaming, allow them to.  Then ask them to slowly back away once the child is engaged.  Think of it as baby steps… first she sits next to the student, then at the next table, etc.  Once the child is calm and engaged, quietly motion for the parent to leave.  Once the child realizes the parent is gone, they will cry, but go back to the steps above and start building that relationship!  And if it becomes an issue where the parent cannot leave, the administration needs to intervene and separate them in the office.  You don’t want the classroom to be a place of trauma for the child or the child will not trust you or the environment.

8.  NEVER say things like ‘no one else is crying’ or ‘why don’t you like it here?’  Both of those questions have negative underlying messages.

Bottom line is to keep it POSITIVE and INVITING!  In no time you will have happy, smiling children!

Please feel free to share any other ideas you have!

7 Comments

  1. Ry

    What a great article. Not even a teacher but stumbled upon it. Your way with understanding human nature is good. Have a great year

    Reply
  2. Laurie Kagan

    Jennifer, I admire your skill, positivity, knowledge of child development and behavior shaping (ultimately, that is what we do called ‘teaching’). Children are lucky to be in your class. I am lucky to have the resources of Pinterest that lead me to you. I am now a committed follower.

    Laurie K MS CCC-SLP
    Speech-Language Pathologist
    WeSpeak

    Reply
  3. GaKEducator

    Perfect timing….i have a child who only speaks Chinese and has seperation issues still. She pitches a complete fit when her mom FINALLY leaves, up to an hour after drop off does anyone have any suggestions? Infeel so sorry for this baby girl

    Reply
    • Jennifer @ Simply Kinder

      That was me last year! About a month before school got out (and 2 days before our DIBELS testing) I got 2 new students from Mexico who spoke no English at all. Little girl was so scared and upset and all she did was cry. I speak a little spanish, not much but it did not seem to help. It took about a week for her to open up to the other students, in which at the end of the year she was still very shy. (Mom said she was very outgoing.) I personally felt is was unfair to her to have her be there for a month and have school be a horrible experience and then have her have the summer home and have trauma all over again. But what can I do? So I decided just to show her love. I would talk to her (even though she did not understand) because I felt my tone and smile would eventually get to her heart! By the end of the year she was still not warmed up to me but at least I did what I could to make her feel some love while she was there. Sometimes that is all we can do. I am sure if you have a ELL student you know there are stages to learning a language. That first part is shock and we can not force them out of it. =) I know how you feel though. Just love her! =)

      Reply
  4. snoopy_kinder

    These are great! I 100% agree, keep it positive!! Thanks for posting! I am sharing with my team!

    Reply

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