So this post is nothing more than to share my feelings with you all! I know I just had a baby and am most likely hormonal and sleep deprived... but I do confess...
This kindergarten teacher is not ready for her child to go to kindergarten!
(I had to bribe him to take this picture with a Happy Meal, but it's cute huh!)
Here's what's going through my head:
- I have always been a supporter of full day kindergarten, but a 7 hour day is just so long! He is going to get so tired!
- And what if he does not eat his lunch, then what? He is going to be so hungry all day.
- And I don't want him to get in trouble.. I am so afraid he is going to make a mistake and get in trouble. He teacher is ridiculously nice and I know she will be great with him but he will be just be devastated if something happens.
- I don't know his schedule... I wish I knew when he had specials and what time he was doing what? You would think because I am on the team there I might know the answers to those questions but I don't.
- And I am afraid I am going to cry. I am a kindergarten teacher myself on that campus and I know I can't do that. I almost lost it at Meet the Teacher Day!
- And what if he accidentally has an accident? Oh goodness... the list goes on and on.
Since I am on maternity leave I won't be there to check up on him. And I am new to the school and don't know anyone enough to text or call to see how he is doing. I really think I would feel better if I was there so I could just poke my head in or ask his teacher at lunch... maybe it's the teacher control freak in me. I don't know? Or maybe I am sad because I am missing his first months of school... I have always wanted him to go to the school I work and he had 2 and a half years of Developmental Preschool and it made me so sad I did not get to be a part of that. I am so excited to just have him 2 doors down and get to take him to/from school each day as I missed that with his preschool.
I have always had empathy with my parents, assuring them they will be fine and even making follow-up phone calls the day of if students have had a hard morning. I really think this experience is going to change me again in how I react to my families even more. Deep down inside I know his teacher will help him and care for him like crazy, just the way I would!
So... in an effort to make myself feel better the Back To School Fairy will be visiting tomorrow morning. She will come the day before school starts so that he has time to actually look at his things and enjoy them. Plus in his folder I put one of those pages saying "It's my first day of Kindergarten" so we could take that picture tomorrow instead of on his actual first day so he does not get annoyed with pictures and has everything as normal and calm as possible.
Words of advice for this sobbing kindergarten mom?
My mom tells me I need to let him grow up, but I am afraid I am just not ready for that!
I am a kinderteacher too. I don't have a kiddo going to kindergarten, I have one moving out. She has been in my home for 22 years. My husband says that most moms don't get to have their children live with them for 22 years and I should be grateful and let her go. She is moving out today and she is only moving 1 1/2 hours away, but I am still sad and worried. Don't get me wrong, I am very proud of her. She is moving to start grad school. It is hard to let go whether they are 5 or 22. It just means you are a wonderful Mom and you love your child. He is very lucky to have such a great Mom. When my kiddos went to Kindergarten I sent a disposable camera and I asked the teacher to take a few pictures every day. When the camera was full, I would replace it and have the pictures printed. I made a scrapbook for the teacher at the end of the year with the pictures...and I got to see my kiddos day. It helped me feel better. Enjoy this time home with your baby. (Sorry this is so long, I think you caught me at a weak moment.)
ReplyDeleteKindergartenLove.
Cindy
I totally understand, I have one starting Kindergarten and our oldest we moves into her first apartment last night as she starts college in a couple weeks! I have cried all day cleaning her room and packing up 18 years of memories!
ReplyDeleteI am also a K teacher and I completely understand your pain. It's hard for us to let go of our kiddos even when we've been telling other parents 'it's going to be ok' for years!!!
ReplyDeleteMy son just started high school on Friday and the funny thing is....those fears that I had when he started Kindergarten suddenly came back up when he started high school. After I put him on the bus that first day I was a nervous wreck. I was so worried. What if he didn't remember where his homeroom was..... What if he got a seat in the back of the room and couldn't see the board well....what if he didn't have any friends to eat with at lunch....what if he didn't know a single soul in his 5th period Biology class.....what if someone was mean to him......what if he couldn't figure out how to work the lock on his locker.......And I could go ON and ON.
He's 14 years old and in HIGHSCHOOL!!!! LOLOLOL!!!!! Really! You'd think by now I would be able to feel confident in his ability to navigate through a school day. HA!
So don't feel bad for worrying. We're moms and teachers and caring so much is just in our nature. I have a feeling both of our kiddos will be just fine. :-)
Debbie
K is for Kinderrific
Okay take notes for me because my child starts in 2 years and I'm having a hard time with her going into Pre-K 3. Ack! Her daycare and their schedule does not let me be involved very often so my husband does daycare duty. I'm excited for Kindergarten because she will come with me for a change. But I'm worried she'll be headstrong and get in trouble for sassing (she does it at home but not at school). I'm worried about so many things too and it's not her time yet! Take a deep breath Momma. If he's excited, then be reassured in that. That's what I'm doing. For us mommas, we can never turn off the worrying mode. Having my own child is definitely making me empathize much better with my parents. Good luck!!
ReplyDeleteShibahn
www.landoflearning.wordpress.com
Jennifer,
ReplyDeleteYour tears are proof that you are a mommy and the teacher side of you is consoling you and letting you know that he will be nurtured and cared for just like you have done for other families years before. I now cry every year at the end of the year as I release to the world twenty first graders. My own "babies" are now 28 & 25 and I was lucky enough to be in the youngest one's school, but it was so hard to put my Jennifer on the bus in San Antonio to another school than mine. Luckily she had/has the gift of gab and I knew everything that went on ALL day! You know the questions to ask and how to ask them when your son gets home. This is something that will help you further on down the road with kids and parents. Good luck!
My oldest went to Kindergarten with me in a room connected to mine with a teacher I'd known my whole career and who'd been my teammate for the last few years. Her second day she melted down as soon as the kids got there and I had to call her dad to get her. She overcame. Last year, I was on maternity leave (and slated to go to a brand new school) and she headed off to her first day of first grade like a pro. And yes, throughout the year I wondered how things were going and what the staff was like and was she being challenged but she loved it. Now it is my son's turn and he is dreading kindergarten. He gets overwhelmed at four kids in a room much less 24. His biggest fear is that he won't understand the directions (and he doesn't always know he doesn't understand or how to ask). So I too am asking all the same questions as you. I wish I knew how to prepare him because he thinks I know all about kindergarten. I do know that I will do all I can as a mother to help him adjust to his new routine. I agree that making their first day as smooth and normal as possible is best (although we all love the first day pictures). Best wishes with this new adventure. :)
ReplyDeleteJenn
My first picture is Sheldon on Big Bang Theory, "There, there, it's going to be all right." hee hee!
ReplyDeleteI'm K teacher. Yes, it's one thing to know it in your head, and another to know it in your heart. Your son will adjust and handle it well. Honestly, it probably works out best that you won't be on campus as a teacher for the first day. It allows him to build his feeling of ownership. If you were working on the first day, he might be more inclined to feel he was YOUR SON, and not who he is. When you return from maternity leave, He will already feel well established in his identity as a capable K student.
My kids are in their 20's, still doing college & living at home. I imagine I will experience those fears for my kids as they get married, have kids, get jobs. Kindergarten is the first step in a lifetime for parents and their worries. So many times, it's we, the parents, who need the most reassurance, not the kids.
I completely understand. My little one starts school this fall with me too. I am excited but also understand that kinder is "big kid" school. No more play all day, new friends, school, etc. I love the idea of the School Fairy.
ReplyDeleteI even wrote a post about him yesterday on my blog, Learning with Mrs. Parker
I'm in a similar situation to you, my son starts Kindergarten this year (I also have a girl going into grade 6) but I am not able to take my son for his first day of school. Like you I am also a Kindergarten teacher, but I teach between to rural schools. I am in one school that is in a town 20 minutes away from where we live, I teach Kindergarten there, we have full days every other day of the week. On the days I don't teach Kindergarten I am at the school in our town doing everything from soup to nuts, I'm in grade 1 for science, grade 4 to 9 teaching french and grade 8/9 art, it's a crazy life, but it's mine. I don't get to take my son to school on his first day or be at school at all with him this year, I have to be in my own Kindergarten room with 17 of my own new K's. I completely understand how you are feeling, I am so lucky my husband works in town and is able to take our son to his first day and his big sister will be in the school with him. Just stay strong and remember he WILL be ok.
ReplyDeleteI am in this boat with you. I am taking my son with me to my school for kindergarten and I have so much anxiety for him. We are talking about things he has to do in the hallways and how loud the cafeteria can be. I talk about how I will be right around the corner and he is so excited. I am tearing up just thinking about walking my baby to kindergarten in a week. How am I going to do this? My best friend will be his teacher and he knows her and loves her. I know she will take care of him but I am just so worried for him. Then my other son will be starting preschool 4 class this year and I just got a phone call today that the preschool is closing! Seriously! Closing. I loved this school and all the people in it. I trusted them and knew those teachers loved my children. Now I have to scramble to find a place with an opening that is a true pre-school program NOT a daycare. It is just too much change. I don't know that I can handle all this!
ReplyDeleteNew follower by the way and sorry I unloaded like that. Just read this and can totally relate!
Meridith
frogsandfirstgraders.blogspot.com