One Sobbing Kinder Teacher Here

So this post is nothing more than to share my feelings with you all!  I know I just had a baby and am most likely hormonal and sleep deprived… but I do confess…
This kindergarten teacher is not ready for her child to go to kindergarten!
(I had to bribe him to take this picture with a Happy Meal, but it’s cute huh!)
Here’s what’s going through my head:
  • I have always been a supporter of full day kindergarten, but a 7 hour day is just so long!  He is going to get so tired!
  • And what if he does not eat his lunch, then what?  He is going to be so hungry all day.
  • And I don’t want him to get in trouble.. I am so afraid he is going to make a mistake and get in trouble.  He teacher is ridiculously nice and I know she will be great with him but he will be just be devastated if something happens.
  • I don’t know his schedule… I wish I knew when he had specials and what time he was doing what?  You would think because I am on the team there I might know the answers to those questions but I don’t.
  • And I am afraid I am going to cry.  I am a kindergarten teacher myself on that campus and I know I can’t do that.  I almost lost it at Meet the Teacher Day!
  • And what if he accidentally has an accident?  Oh goodness… the list goes on and on.

Essentially, year after year I tell my parents to just go and they will be fine… but I am so worried he won’t be fine!  Why am I so worried he won’t be fine?

Since I am on maternity leave I won’t be there to check up on him.  And I am new to the school and don’t know anyone enough to text or call to see how he is doing. I really think I would feel better if I was there so I could just poke my head in or ask his teacher at lunch… maybe it’s the teacher control freak in me.  I don’t know?  Or maybe I am sad because I am missing his first months of school… I have always wanted him to go to the school I work and he had 2 and a half years of Developmental Preschool and it made me so sad I did not get to be a part of that.  I am so excited to just have him 2 doors down and get to take him to/from school each day as I missed that with his preschool.
I have always had empathy with my parents, assuring them they will be fine and even making follow-up phone calls the day of if students have had a hard morning.  I really think this experience is going to change me again in how I react to my families even more.  Deep down inside I know his teacher will help him and care for him like crazy, just the way I would!
So… in an effort to make myself feel better the Back To School Fairy will be visiting tomorrow morning.  She will come the day before school starts so that he has time to actually look at his things and enjoy them.  Plus in his folder I put one of those pages saying “It’s my first day of Kindergarten” so we could take that picture tomorrow instead of on his actual first day so he does not get annoyed with pictures and has everything as normal and calm as possible.
Words of advice for this sobbing kindergarten mom?  
My mom tells me I need to let him grow up, but I am afraid I am just not ready for that!

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